Sunday, September 25, 2022

25th September

 assalamualaikum and hi


azrul and i go way back. since 2004. and today, 25th September 2022, we have known each other for 18 years. some years we were apart but we were always in touch maybe as friends or even enemy lol. i think that's what make it unshakable about him. i have loved him and i have also hated him oh god i cant even describe how much i hated him. and perhaps he hated me too. and that is understandable, i mean im not even mad. fate. its an amazing thing.


whenever we talked about the time we met, i dont really remember because i was always reserved and i dont really put my head up to see people's faces so its a blur. i just remember the time i saw his pic wearing AVON marathon shirt, God i laughed so hard as i thought that was funny. you know, being that avon is mostly women's products. now when i think about that, i was so stupid lol. but i didnt know him yet that time, i only really saw him one day when i was sick or like i had a fever but maybe i was just lazy, felt like not going to class. i was all by myself in my room thinking about how hungry i was and i should get lunch but my dry food was also depleting so as everyone was in class, i went to the shop only to find him there with a couple of our classmates too. omg i was surprised and i didnt want them to see me bcs i was basically ponteng lah kan lol. dah la that time i bought so many things like maggi and milo so i carried a big plactic bag! malu weh. i tried hiding in the shop but they wont just go away and Brey even got into the shop argh. so i just gi mampus im going back to my hostel. BUT azrul being the loud person he issss he had to call me and idk say something i guess. i walked quickly but they saw me. with the big plastic bag of all sort of food. so embarrassing lah T.T back at my room, i thought die lah like this they saw me, i had no choice but i had to go to evening class lah macam ni i thought what if they tell everyone i was perfectly healthy kan?? even though they probably just laugh it off and wont tell anyone pun bcs duhh they dont care about other people pun. that evening i went to class lah, was a bit angry bcs i wanted to rest goddd. i sat with Paan, we always sat together until she got out of matrix and went some place else. so after that class azrul sneakily went to paan and asked for my number. and paan told me after that and that night azrul texted me. haa that was the beginning lah lol

we started texting and doing the 3 seconds call thing to save credit haha and he asked if i could teach him english. seriously that was the weakest excuse to ask me out on a date. i mean i saw it but i liked him so i said yeah ok and we agreed to meet in the library. it was night and i was there first, found a table and i sat there. unluckily the table was directly under the ac. it was freaking cold honest to god but there was no other table so i had no choice. waited for him for a while and he came with his friends. i was always scared or shy of his friends, like i said i was reserved sheesh. i dont know, they looked like old dudes, old and scary and some convicted felons hm cowie. so back to azrul, walking down the stairs, he was damn tall lol and honestly i didnt know what to teach him, like i said most terrible excuse to date lol but we kinda talked i guess and then, the best part -- we walked, he walked me to my hostel but we stopped at the stairs. the magical stairs ^_^ and sat and we talked. oh but before that, since we sat directly under the ac and it was cold, he got his lips chipped that it started bleeding lol ok that was all, bet he felt silly about that.

ok, i dont know about him, but that time we sat on the stairs was the best moment in my life. one single best moment in my life. if there were a field of flowers in my body, each and every flowers on that field bloomed. like can you imagine the air and the sight, so full. so there, we talked about stupid things. about our family maybe? about life bcs when we were young we had these ideas right? and all that felt right to be said out loud especially to someone we care. anyway, the details were a blur but we talked for a while up until his friends called him lol and funny thing, his phone ringtone was the stroke's song, 12.51. which coincidentally mine too but my tempo was faster so he said hey that's not right and he fixed it. we later said our goodbyes and i walked home and he walked the other way but i couldnt stop smiling and i saw him smile too. i remember feeling like i didnt want to go home lol. so that was it, how i met azrul.


and to think that i married that young person and carried his children and sharing my life with him. alhamdulillah is all i can say. we have our weaknesses and shortcomings but we made it to this day together and i cant even ask for anything else.


i saw somewhere, they were asking in this life what thing would you want to redo and i dont think i want to redo anything because everything that happened, everything i did, everything he did, everything anybody did lead us here, to this day. i mean we went our separate ways and that kept us apart yes. but that road we took alone was a learning process. obviously me and him, we had to go learn about those things away from each other. like we went and explored and made mistakes and learnt from them. only to be a better person so when we are wiser, we can meet again and be the best version of us to each other.



azrul, pojad and i


12:51




ps: he saw i was writing this long post and maybe he'll read this later so i want to tell him that i love you pakcik XD

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