Sunday, December 18, 2016

Abstract

Assalamualaikum

Hi

Im in a good mood. I have had enough sleep. I have had my dosage of cakes for the day. Husband took us out. Kids are asleep. Pretty much all great today. And oh! I didnt cook one bit today oh yeah. Except for muaz's lunch and dinner but that's just like a small pot of rice + diced chicken, potatoes and carrots. Left it on the stove until it turns gooey thats all. I wouldnt count that as cooking at all. Husband made breakfast this morning. My lovely husband. He even bought some cekmek. I should kiss him again later for the best day he gave me. Hew

Its 17 december guys. Thats a few weeks till 2017. Can you believe? What happened to 2016? Lol. Time moves so fast. And my 2016 has been amazing. Especially the part when we had muaz. Lets see part by part.

January we had aryan. Along's number three. He is so cute and cuddly. Just as smart as arysh. Zahra turned 2 in march. We celebrated her birthday in kota bharu. It was a coincidence that husband had a job in kota bharu. His company's first in kb, talisman. So we got to stay at the hotel and swim in the pool all we wanted. Mala made a brownies tower which was amazing. Trust me, her chocolate brownies are the best in kelantan. Maybe in malaysia too. And of course in may, i gave birth to muaz. Shortly after, husband had his 30th birthday wohoo. I gave him muaz. That counts right? Lol. Our small celebration in september. Cakes of course. Husband started his masters class that month too. He's very excited about continuing his studies. And my birthday in november. Im 30 too! Wohoo. Gosh thats not exciting at all. Ok maybe a bit but not entirely. Yada yada bam december. Our anniversary! Got my husband a set of electric shavers haha not that he needed one tho. And oh we got a matching converse. Because age-denial symptom i guess lol.

Throughout those months, we celebrated family member's birthdays, eids, fasting month, a few friends had family members loss, a few downs, a lot of ups, a huge amount of making loves, we had a new members in the family, there were weddings and engagements, my sisters had their major exams, my brother in law started his new semester in johor, my sister in law's graduation in kelantan, multiple visits to our favourite places, eateries, food and more food, i tried selling food, can you imagine? Lol. I believe there were so much more happenings. But i cant recall right now especially with the timeframe sorry. Hew.

Point being, we have lived another year. Almost. And we have made so many things. We have loved so hard. We tried new things. We built each other. Not just me and my husband, our families. And it feels great. I believe that we have had a great year. Alhamdulillah Allah is the greatest the most merciful and the most loving.

I pray for a beautiful year ahead. I pray for you to have a beautiful year ahead. Never stop praying. Allah is always listening. God willing.

Ps : husband has finished his studies. I was like a cheerleader just now lol. Ok then good night kind people. <3

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

The day i met Muaz

Assalamualaikum

Hi

It is a verrrry rare occasion that i am THIS free and energetic and do not space out. I really dont have to spell it out right? Its all over the internet that that gorgeous mother of two is experiencing exhaustion. From you know, motherhood. Lol.

Um lets see. Muaz is almost 7 months old. Wow time sure flies fast right? It still feels like yesterday i was pushing him out of me. And yes, im going to talk about that in this post. Just because i'd like to dispose the memory and i would also like to look into it once in a while. In case i get excited about having a bump. Again. Not in the nearest time i hope. Lol (its a laugh but im not really laughing)

So, the magical day. It doesnt happen until weeks of waiting and waiting. You probably realise this by now, im easily influenced by articles, news, even facebook status updates. Its the naive side of me. I was feeling like exploding at 36 weeks of pregnancy. So we went back to kota bharu super early. And oh, my assigned nurse also said baby was a bit low at that time, i freaked out. Husband did get back to KL during that period but came back when i was at 38 weeks i think.

Long story short, the day i had my bloody show. It was on one morning. 2 days before labour. I was happy but scared so i told husband. He looked happy because obviously he cant wait to see baby. But the contraction was not as strong as expected. One night i asked husband to make air selusuh for me. He did. Before that i was reciting surah maryam when he suddenly asked was i feeling like the baby is coming. I said no. That night he took a selfie of us and he said lets take a selfie while the baby is still inside. That moment, i thought i was not ready to give birth. Mentally i mean.

The next morning exactly when i heard azan subuh, i can feel some kind of liquid coming down my thighs. I thought it was some mucus but it felt like water running down. Like i was peeing only it wasnt warm. You can imagine that right? Lol. I woke up and looked at it quite puzzled because i never experience that before. Ok lah still calm because i dont want to freak husband out. Ibu advised us to go to the hospital and we did. I ate a pack of nasi bungkus that morning just like when i was about to have zahra because i need energyyy.

Anywho, checked in bla bla saw the doctor and guess what, it was just a 2cm dilation. Seriouslah. Well to be honest the contraction werent that strong so make sense lah. Until a nurse came and open it a bit more. It hurt ok! But she was being as gentle as possible so i didnt scream or anything. The thing with water broke is, the procedure for dilation check is different. Normally, the doctor would just insert his/her finger into your vagina and roughly measure the opening. For water broke case, the doctor has to insert a certain metal thing which is huge into your vagina. It functions as a holder or a stand so he can see the inside of your vagina better. Not only that, a lamp will be put at your vagina with the light so bright you will feel so embarassed you'd wish you were unconcious.

Later i waited and waited for any stronger contractions but unfortunately muaz was still playing i guess. Doctor said i will see baby in the evening or at night. But that day for sure. Therefore i need to be warded. Umkay i hate that but okay. But before that the doctor scan my belly. Just to whether baby is doing ok and he hasnt pooped. Baby was fine. Doctor even asked "awak ada minum air selusuh ke?" I was like "um um air selusuh herba tu ke yg suami bc ayat quran? Sy minum yg suami baca2 je". Doctor said both is not recommended. If you want to drink air selusuh, drink only when you have strong contractions. So i was like note taken doc! I had lunch there with a slightly younger future mom. She said her water broke too but there was no dilation what so ever. She looked calm.

Got warded. In the ward, my contractions was getting stronger. Husband managed to get in after lunch hour. He brought all of my things and baby's. My poor husband looked worried and tired. He waited outside the whole time from after subuh until lunch time and he didnt even had his lunch. He head home later and brought my brother along because he might need someone to drive. Zahra was at home with ibu the whole time. Husband said she didnt even realise i was missing. -.-

In the ward, i walked a lot. Because i remember what ibu said, dont be a cry baby and curl in bed, walk. So i did. And oh i found a walking friend. Huhu. Amazingly, that woman was a kusza alumni too. So during that walking-contraction bearing moments, we talked about kusza. It was honestly and truly funny. She walked a little, stopped somewhere, groan, continue walking. Me too. When we met each other somewhere we just smile. In pain. Lol

In the evening, there is another visiting hour, husband got in. I knew the baby was about to come i forbid him from leaving. At first i lay down in bed on my sides, grabbing husband's hands. Until i cant take it anymore i had to stand. When the contraction stikes, i squeeze his hands so hard. He was very patient i love him so much huhu. Once the contractions got stronger with 5 minutes gap from each, i called the nurse and she checked the dilation. It was only 4 cm. Ugh. I went back to bed frustrated. But second baby is different from first, the dilation quickly go bigger. I couldnt take it anymore husband rushed to the nurses and one checked me, it was 6 cm. In like just few minutes. So she rushed me to the labour room. Husband was always on my side. I couldnt focus on what he was doing but i know he was there. Probably worrying like hell.

In the labour room, it was the doctor that checked me earlier in the morning. He was chatty so ok lah a distraction. Seriously with muaz, it was a lotttttt more painful than zahra. Maybe because he was 3.3kg and zahra was only 2.6kg. Anyway, i was only given oxygen and pain killer i need to inhale. I dont know what its called. It wasnt good at all. I can still feel everything as if there was no pain killer at all. Thank God husband was beside me watching everything and holding me. No snip snip this time. Only with first baby delivery you will get snipped at you vajayjay. So i was relieved. At 8 cm i felt like pushing. Told doctor and he told me to push. I was exhausted really. From morning ok. And the long contractions. No painkiller. But the doctor and his team was amazing. They cheered me up so well. Even husband cheered for me like "dah nampak kepala syg, dh nampak baby" something like that so i was excited and i felt like i shouldnt give up. I did take a break for a while because i was too tired but i quickly gathered my strength and pushed muaz out. Husband was so amazed at how a baby comes out. Haha he was like waaah.

Once the baby was out, the doctor cleaned him a bit, asked me, is it a boy or a girl and i who was at the edge of my life answered boy. The baby was put onto my chest and husband recite adhan to him while he was still my chest. I was super lovely. But at that time i think the pain killer just kicked in so i was super high too. After that, husband got out smiling and baby got cleaned in another room. Time for stitching. Even there was no sciscors cut, my skin was cut from pushing the pumpkin out of me. Just a bit but doctor said that still need stitching. Ugh it felt like ages and it hurt so bad.

When it all ended, i got to meet muaz, hug him kiss the heaven's smell fresh from the oven. It was 10pm. Husband was still outside and he was tired. Shortly, i got into another ward, got my things, my sister came to take care baby and i. Everything was well. Husband had to take care of zahra at home. We dont want to leave her for too long. For the first time in my life, i slept without zahra by my side. Just the baby. But like i said, she was totally fine without me -.-

The next day, baby and i got discharged. We were both healthy alhamdulillah. Later reunited with the the big family and everyone.

And that is the story of how i gave birth to a human being named Muaz Ziqri bin Azrul Amirul Rashid. That baby is now a healthy almost 7 months old, already eating solid food, has learnt to crawl and recently learnt to pick himself up standing and falling. So so big, smart and ambitious like ayah.

And oh, dear husband, thank you for being so brave, accompanied me in the labour room and all. Got your hands squeezed so hard. I love you so much. Thank you for being there. Thank you for not passing out haha. Thank you for being so excited. You're truly and amazing dad.

May Allah protect our family and shower us with love. May Allah bless those who have helped my husband and i during the whole giving birth process and confinement. Only Allah can repay their kindness. May Zahra and Muaz become soleh & solehah.

Till next time. Soon.