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Assalamualaikum

Hi

Im in a good mood. I have had enough sleep. I have had my dosage of cakes for the day. Husband took us out. Kids are asleep. Pretty much all great today. And oh! I didnt cook one bit today oh yeah. Except for muaz's lunch and dinner but that's just like a small pot of rice + diced chicken, potatoes and carrots. Left it on the stove until it turns gooey thats all. I wouldnt count that as cooking at all. Husband made breakfast this morning. My lovely husband. He even bought some cekmek. I should kiss him again later for the best day he gave me. Hew

Its 17 december guys. Thats a few weeks till 2017. Can you believe? What happened to 2016? Lol. Time moves so fast. And my 2016 has been amazing. Especially the part when we had muaz. Lets see part by part.

January we had aryan. Along's number three. He is so cute and cuddly. Just as smart as arysh. Zahra turned 2 in march. We celebrated her birthday in kota bharu. It was a coincidence that husband had a job in kota bharu. His company's first in kb, talisman. So we got to stay at the hotel and swim in the pool all we wanted. Mala made a brownies tower which was amazing. Trust me, her chocolate brownies are the best in kelantan. Maybe in malaysia too. And of course in may, i gave birth to muaz. Shortly after, husband had his 30th birthday wohoo. I gave him muaz. That counts right? Lol. Our small celebration in september. Cakes of course. Husband started his masters class that month too. He's very excited about continuing his studies. And my birthday in november. Im 30 too! Wohoo. Gosh thats not exciting at all. Ok maybe a bit but not entirely. Yada yada bam december. Our anniversary! Got my husband a set of electric shavers haha not that he needed one tho. And oh we got a matching converse. Because age-denial symptom i guess lol.

Throughout those months, we celebrated family member's birthdays, eids, fasting month, a few friends had family members loss, a few downs, a lot of ups, a huge amount of making loves, we had a new members in the family, there were weddings and engagements, my sisters had their major exams, my brother in law started his new semester in johor, my sister in law's graduation in kelantan, multiple visits to our favourite places, eateries, food and more food, i tried selling food, can you imagine? Lol. I believe there were so much more happenings. But i cant recall right now especially with the timeframe sorry. Hew.

Point being, we have lived another year. Almost. And we have made so many things. We have loved so hard. We tried new things. We built each other. Not just me and my husband, our families. And it feels great. I believe that we have had a great year. Alhamdulillah Allah is the greatest the most merciful and the most loving.

I pray for a beautiful year ahead. I pray for you to have a beautiful year ahead. Never stop praying. Allah is always listening. God willing.

Ps : husband has finished his studies. I was like a cheerleader just now lol. Ok then good night kind people. <3

The day i met Muaz

Assalamualaikum

Hi

It is a verrrry rare occasion that i am THIS free and energetic and do not space out. I really dont have to spell it out right? Its all over the internet that that gorgeous mother of two is experiencing exhaustion. From you know, motherhood. Lol.

Um lets see. Muaz is almost 7 months old. Wow time sure flies fast right? It still feels like yesterday i was pushing him out of me. And yes, im going to talk about that in this post. Just because i'd like to dispose the memory and i would also like to look into it once in a while. In case i get excited about having a bump. Again. Not in the nearest time i hope. Lol (its a laugh but im not really laughing)

So, the magical day. It doesnt happen until weeks of waiting and waiting. You probably realise this by now, im easily influenced by articles, news, even facebook status updates. Its the naive side of me. I was feeling like exploding at 36 weeks of pregnancy. So we went back to kota bharu super early. And oh, my assigned nurse also said baby was a bit low at that time, i freaked out. Husband did get back to KL during that period but came back when i was at 38 weeks i think.

Long story short, the day i had my bloody show. It was on one morning. 2 days before labour. I was happy but scared so i told husband. He looked happy because obviously he cant wait to see baby. But the contraction was not as strong as expected. One night i asked husband to make air selusuh for me. He did. Before that i was reciting surah maryam when he suddenly asked was i feeling like the baby is coming. I said no. That night he took a selfie of us and he said lets take a selfie while the baby is still inside. That moment, i thought i was not ready to give birth. Mentally i mean.

The next morning exactly when i heard azan subuh, i can feel some kind of liquid coming down my thighs. I thought it was some mucus but it felt like water running down. Like i was peeing only it wasnt warm. You can imagine that right? Lol. I woke up and looked at it quite puzzled because i never experience that before. Ok lah still calm because i dont want to freak husband out. Ibu advised us to go to the hospital and we did. I ate a pack of nasi bungkus that morning just like when i was about to have zahra because i need energyyy.

Anywho, checked in bla bla saw the doctor and guess what, it was just a 2cm dilation. Seriouslah. Well to be honest the contraction werent that strong so make sense lah. Until a nurse came and open it a bit more. It hurt ok! But she was being as gentle as possible so i didnt scream or anything. The thing with water broke is, the procedure for dilation check is different. Normally, the doctor would just insert his/her finger into your vagina and roughly measure the opening. For water broke case, the doctor has to insert a certain metal thing which is huge into your vagina. It functions as a holder or a stand so he can see the inside of your vagina better. Not only that, a lamp will be put at your vagina with the light so bright you will feel so embarassed you'd wish you were unconcious.

Later i waited and waited for any stronger contractions but unfortunately muaz was still playing i guess. Doctor said i will see baby in the evening or at night. But that day for sure. Therefore i need to be warded. Umkay i hate that but okay. But before that the doctor scan my belly. Just to whether baby is doing ok and he hasnt pooped. Baby was fine. Doctor even asked "awak ada minum air selusuh ke?" I was like "um um air selusuh herba tu ke yg suami bc ayat quran? Sy minum yg suami baca2 je". Doctor said both is not recommended. If you want to drink air selusuh, drink only when you have strong contractions. So i was like note taken doc! I had lunch there with a slightly younger future mom. She said her water broke too but there was no dilation what so ever. She looked calm.

Got warded. In the ward, my contractions was getting stronger. Husband managed to get in after lunch hour. He brought all of my things and baby's. My poor husband looked worried and tired. He waited outside the whole time from after subuh until lunch time and he didnt even had his lunch. He head home later and brought my brother along because he might need someone to drive. Zahra was at home with ibu the whole time. Husband said she didnt even realise i was missing. -.-

In the ward, i walked a lot. Because i remember what ibu said, dont be a cry baby and curl in bed, walk. So i did. And oh i found a walking friend. Huhu. Amazingly, that woman was a kusza alumni too. So during that walking-contraction bearing moments, we talked about kusza. It was honestly and truly funny. She walked a little, stopped somewhere, groan, continue walking. Me too. When we met each other somewhere we just smile. In pain. Lol

In the evening, there is another visiting hour, husband got in. I knew the baby was about to come i forbid him from leaving. At first i lay down in bed on my sides, grabbing husband's hands. Until i cant take it anymore i had to stand. When the contraction stikes, i squeeze his hands so hard. He was very patient i love him so much huhu. Once the contractions got stronger with 5 minutes gap from each, i called the nurse and she checked the dilation. It was only 4 cm. Ugh. I went back to bed frustrated. But second baby is different from first, the dilation quickly go bigger. I couldnt take it anymore husband rushed to the nurses and one checked me, it was 6 cm. In like just few minutes. So she rushed me to the labour room. Husband was always on my side. I couldnt focus on what he was doing but i know he was there. Probably worrying like hell.

In the labour room, it was the doctor that checked me earlier in the morning. He was chatty so ok lah a distraction. Seriously with muaz, it was a lotttttt more painful than zahra. Maybe because he was 3.3kg and zahra was only 2.6kg. Anyway, i was only given oxygen and pain killer i need to inhale. I dont know what its called. It wasnt good at all. I can still feel everything as if there was no pain killer at all. Thank God husband was beside me watching everything and holding me. No snip snip this time. Only with first baby delivery you will get snipped at you vajayjay. So i was relieved. At 8 cm i felt like pushing. Told doctor and he told me to push. I was exhausted really. From morning ok. And the long contractions. No painkiller. But the doctor and his team was amazing. They cheered me up so well. Even husband cheered for me like "dah nampak kepala syg, dh nampak baby" something like that so i was excited and i felt like i shouldnt give up. I did take a break for a while because i was too tired but i quickly gathered my strength and pushed muaz out. Husband was so amazed at how a baby comes out. Haha he was like waaah.

Once the baby was out, the doctor cleaned him a bit, asked me, is it a boy or a girl and i who was at the edge of my life answered boy. The baby was put onto my chest and husband recite adhan to him while he was still my chest. I was super lovely. But at that time i think the pain killer just kicked in so i was super high too. After that, husband got out smiling and baby got cleaned in another room. Time for stitching. Even there was no sciscors cut, my skin was cut from pushing the pumpkin out of me. Just a bit but doctor said that still need stitching. Ugh it felt like ages and it hurt so bad.

When it all ended, i got to meet muaz, hug him kiss the heaven's smell fresh from the oven. It was 10pm. Husband was still outside and he was tired. Shortly, i got into another ward, got my things, my sister came to take care baby and i. Everything was well. Husband had to take care of zahra at home. We dont want to leave her for too long. For the first time in my life, i slept without zahra by my side. Just the baby. But like i said, she was totally fine without me -.-

The next day, baby and i got discharged. We were both healthy alhamdulillah. Later reunited with the the big family and everyone.

And that is the story of how i gave birth to a human being named Muaz Ziqri bin Azrul Amirul Rashid. That baby is now a healthy almost 7 months old, already eating solid food, has learnt to crawl and recently learnt to pick himself up standing and falling. So so big, smart and ambitious like ayah.

And oh, dear husband, thank you for being so brave, accompanied me in the labour room and all. Got your hands squeezed so hard. I love you so much. Thank you for being there. Thank you for not passing out haha. Thank you for being so excited. You're truly and amazing dad.

May Allah protect our family and shower us with love. May Allah bless those who have helped my husband and i during the whole giving birth process and confinement. Only Allah can repay their kindness. May Zahra and Muaz become soleh & solehah.

Till next time. Soon.

I have a new boyfriend

Assalamualaikum

Finally a post. Hehe. Alhamdulillah i am now a mother of two beautiful children, a girl and a boy. All praise to Allah i have given birth to a healthy baby boy on 19th of May at 840pm. It was a whole new experience so much different from when i was giving birth to Zahra. But still i did it naturally without any help of epidural or god-forbid csection. Baby is sleeping soundly next to me. His sister too. I have gained my strength to do most chores but as instructed by my mom and mil and especially husband, im only allowed to take care of the little one. Other things can wait. Even zahra. Confinement 101.

It feels like i have a gajilion things to say. And they are racing in my head right now. But i'll keep it at the littlest things; the beautiful morning of listening to my husband reciting quran in the middle of all of us, and then zahra's voice calling him "ayah" and tuck right beside her dad. Later, baby's sighs and yawns join the melody of my morning. And everyone kiss one another with all the masam milk smell. The best kind of good morning i can ever ask for. And i thank Allah for that.

InsyaAllah the story of how i deliver another human into this world will follow. When im not occupied with the two babies.

Ps: Does my life change? Of course. I have a little man now. Hehe.

Ineffable

Assalamualaikum

Hi

I wanted to sleep. I didnt have my noon nap today. Or techinically yesterday. Ever felt so tired you cant sleep? Tonight i feel that way. I dont do work much. But being pregnant, shortness of breath and those penguin walks with extra weigh, i kindda feel like i work all day all night. Not that im complaining. That is just an obvious fact really.

Anyway, im at my in laws. For many times in a row now, we spend our every weekends here. Must be because of aryan. Huhu. But mostly because husband has futsal games here. And because zahra misses arysh. As for me, i love being here because of my mil's delicious cookings. Last week i was having appetite problem. I mean, as a pregnant woman who is over with her morning sickness, i wasnt eager about eating. I got flatulence a lot. And so we spent the long weekend here. And guess what those dishes awakened my kraken & i ate like a hungry troll all day everyday here. More over, mil and fil insisted that i eat more because they said my belly is small. On tuesday, we went to the clinic and they weighed me, my beloved and very kind nurse said "wah you gained a lot, you must have big appetite now". A little shocked i just smiled and nodded. I said to myself, this must be all of my mil's cookings. Lol. But honestly, i need to watch my weight because the nurse said if i gained 2 kg and above, i will have to drink another glass of that wicked air gula. Of which i sure hope i wont have to meet ever again in my entire existence ever!

About that monthly check up, alhamdulillah everything is well. Baby is not small despite im not showing much belly. But unfortunately, we still havent had the chance to identify his/her gender just yet. Idk why im so patient about that. Maybe in a way, i want to be surprised. Husband too. He said he's ok if its a boy or a girl. Either way, we'll have 2 kids counting zahra and she will have a friend. Hehe. She's showing a lot of positive sisterly behaviours. She tries to feed her plush toys. She tries to get her toys to sleep by rocking them in her arms and putting them in her hammock. Which warms our hearts. Whenever we ask her where is adik, she'd touch or point at my belly. So kakak2 ady. We just hope she will be ready when the time comes.

I feel good about things these days. My shoulders and my heart feel a lot lighter. Alhamdulillah for i think i have conquered my mountain. Well, you know, a mountain is something you find difficult in your life, a test, a roadblock. And i think i have conquered mine. Yes, there are other mountains ahead im not stupid. But this one right here is the biggest i have been dealing with since ever. It is a very satisfying feeling. To know it is actually not that hard to be dealt with. And the fact that it is possible, in fact im standing on top of it, this is probably my best moment of 2016 so far. I hope things stay this way. Or at least never ever go the other way around. I thank Allah for the courage i had, and husband's way of handling things. Im just happy. And to my mountain, cheers to the future.

Ps: apple juice apple juice apple juice. Where is my apple juiceeee.

Baby Talk

Assalamualaikum

Hi

Pasal barang baby. Sebagai ibubapa yang keep calm and freak later, kami memang kadang2 macam ni. Tapi takdelah freak later sangat pong. Baru masuk 5 bulan. So ada plenty lenty lentyyy lagi masa untuk shopping. Dengan kemudahan internet dan whatsapp dan instagram dan fesbuk segalanya mungkin! Tidak lupa kepada lazada yg walaupun barang ku order tak sampai2 sampai ke sudah lalu dorg return money tapi money pun tak tau ke mana seb baik 30 hengget je barangnye. Dakpe you, i halalkan. Leceh naw.

Anyway, sekarang baru fasa planning lah kirenye sebab poket boss takleh main seluk nanti kena bebel 4 kontena. Lagipun sape suruh shopping tak ingat dunia lepas tu blurr duit tak tau pegi mane. Macam hari tu husband cakap that month saya spend sekian2 i was like say whattt? Takdelah manade pakai duit banyak tu. I am very berjimat cermat how come sampai ribu2. Lalu dia dengan muka confiden nak tunjuk akaun yg dia buat lalu saya surrender. Tp seriously otak takleh recall duit tu pegi mane. Mungkin ke jubah2 dan kasut2 dan handbag2 yg setahun 2 kali pakai tu. Insaf. *insert muka bersalah makan biskut raya sebelum hari raya kat sini* tapi husband sangat gembira sejak pregnant nafsu shopping turun ke paras terendah. Beli supplement pregnant dengan ubat2 cantik je. Dia cakap, "keep it this way". Dia tak tau habis pantang tu raya. Which means shoppingggg. Ngeh.

Tapi! Kali ni nak shopping barang baby maka kena beli gak. Tapi! Biasa2 je. Sebab dh ada pengalaman shopping barang zahra, jadi dh boleh bajet ape perlu ape tak perlu. Basic2 tu biasalah baju, seluar, barut perut, booties, mittens. Dan benda wajib tiada sunat iaitu pampers dan toileteries. Alah benda biasa tu lah. This time around nak fokus kat benda yg dulu macam nak kena beli ke taknak utk zahra. Macam baby cot dan nursing cover. Zahra dulu kitorg bedal tido sekali. Menetek sampai pagi. Tapi kan tak elok sebab possibility tercekik susu etc. Masa breastfeed zahra, bukan tak pikir sume tu. Tp sebab terbiasa. Kali ni harapnya tak malas bangun susu baby dan letak beliau di tempat asal. Jangan main peluk2 sampai pagi. Nursing cover tu pulak sebab nak nyusu di khalayak ramai tanpa manusia lain melihat payudara i. Sebab i malas nk g nursing room atau masuk keta pasang ekon bla bla renyihhh. Maka, wajib ada lah kali ni.

Bercakap pasal breastfeeding, nak mengepam juga. Manual pump ada tapi sekali je kut pakai. Lol. Sebab sayang lengan takut tumbuh muscle. Muscle sy lg besar dari husband cane? Haha. Maka nak beli yg letrik. Baru lah rasa mcm lembu di new zealand sikit. Tapi tu masih blurr2. Sebab takut jugak terjadi kes susu mengering lantaran pam. Idk where i heard that tapi macam boleh terjadi kan. Konon nak susu badan ekslusif 2 tahun macam zahra walaupun cuma setahun setengah je.

Other than that, kena brainstorm lagi dengan husband. Dan ofkos lah dia takde idea. Maka, kena sesi pengusharan di kedai2 barang baby. Which is lebih afdal dilakukan setelah tau jantina si kecil itu. Ok, sebenarnya umi duk men fesbuk tdi. Anak sape tah comey sangat. Anyonyo tiba2 rindu kat baby dalam perut. Haih takleh nak describe. Rindu... sayang nyeee.... lambat nye bulan 5 umi nak tatap muka awak. Umi nak cium pipi gebu. Umi nak makan tangan awak. Arghhh. Kak zahra sudah dewasa dia tak suka semua tu. Lagipun dia suka ayah yg buat dia macam tu. Foine foineee. Kita kawan dua nnti ok? Hari selasa umi & ayah teropong awak ada bebird ke burger. Stay healthy anakkkk.

K. Dah boleh scroll instagram dan screenshot. Hahaha.

Ps : weekend ni balik jumpa Aryan. Again! Tahniah along. Semoga kehadiran Aryan memberi rahmat kepada along & keluarga. Umah nenek sooo crowded dengan manusia kecik pakai pampers saje. Ish3.

Sugar Coated Baby

Assalamualaikum

Hi

Baru lepas minum air gula.. jadi sugar rush sikit.... nahh. Jakun dan noob dalam sektor air gula walaupun sudah beranak 1 sebab time zahra dulu tak penah kena minum air gula pong. Tak tau kenapa. Sebab time zahra dulu entirely dekat swasta kut. Dan berat tak pernah naik mendadak. Dan alhamdulillah family history takde sakit diabetes dan seangkatan dengannya. Dengan baby ni nak pulak cuba klinik kerajaan sebagai menyahut seruan kerajaan supaya berjimat cermat dan hashtag 2kerja padahal surirumah hashtag sejutanambelaskerja. Maka, tiba2 je kena teguk segelas air gula. Sy ingat gelas kecik mcm gelas milo tu tau. Rupanya gelas besau. Taktau lah downside ke upside of it tp air gula tu perisa oren.

Kisah bermula semalam pukul 10 malam start puasa tak boleh makan minum. Korek hidung korek telinga takpe ye. Bukan puasa ramadhan ke puasa sunat pong. Tp minum air masak pun dokleh ye suamiku.. dia confident je suruh minum air masak. Org cakap puasa. -..-" pestu pagi2 lagi pegi klinik amek darah. Seronok sgt satu jarum besar. Pastu terus teguk segelas air gula yg berperisa oren tersebut. Mak aih. Sy igt sy ironwoman cukup kuat utk segala jenis cabaran. Tidak ye puan2. Sy insan yg lemah. Pekat tul air gula tu. Ergh still terasa lagi kt tekak. Meremang bulu roma. Nurse tu cakap kalau muntah kena minum lagi hari lain. Oh no no no. Jangan kau muntah. Tahan! Habis gak lah segelas. Kena tunjuk kt dia occay gelas tu kosong. Seb baik dia tak suh jilat je. Pestu tunggu 2 jam kasi air gula hadam masuk dlm sistem. Note: masih belum boleh makan nasi lemak ke roti canai ke waima minum air masak sekalipun. Seronak sgt time tu berpinar2 mcm nak terkeluar balik air gula yg pekat itu. Husband suh balik umah. Singgah jap kedai makan dia breakfast, zahra minum milo. Tak terliur pun sebab air gula tu power sgt. Lalu, sampai umah tido. Haha. Husband kejut jom kita rempit gi klinik. Time tu ok dh takde mual dh. Sampai klinik amek darah lagi sekali. T.T tp pastu selesai dh segala2nya. Azab berakhir di situ.

Kesimpulan nye air gula tu tak sedap langsung! Tapi masih boleh endure lah. Habis dah terpaksa, takkan nak protes guling2 kat situ. Harap2 pas2 ni hb normal, berat pun janganlah naik banyak sangat. InsyaAllah. Btw, sebab time zahra dulu sy memang fully pegi swasta, dan utk baby ni mcm berazam nak gi klinik kerajaan, jadi boleh nampak obvious perbezaan sgt. Dulu ingat swasta macam bagusssss sgt bla bla bla. Tp sebenarnya klinik kerajaan ni jauh lebih bagus. Memang dia renyih sikit nak kena ulang alik kadang2 sebulan sampai 2 3 kali pegi klinik. Tapi dorang sebenarnya nak monitor ibu dan baby dgn lebih detail. Ye, tak banyak scan tapi alah scan je pun. Rasa nak tengok baby, pegi lah klinik swasta setiap hari pun boleh kan. Bagi saya lah, memang nak teruskan dgn klinik kerajaan ni je.. sebab tengok dorg punya care dekat ibu tu memang menyeluruh. Gituu.

Ps : bila tak tau nak masak ape, masak lah spegeti. Mudah cepat kenyang emmm kbai.

Imagine Fireworks

Assalamualaikum

Hi

I couldnt be bothered with a new year post. I think i have summed up a lot in my birthday post. Lol. And life is pretty much the same. All i can say is twas a beautiful year and im looking forward to what 2016 will bring.

Obviously, we will be dealing with a game changer insyaAllah by the end of May. Husband is excited because that is around his birthday. My edd is pretty close to his birthday. Ahhh just to think about how much i can save from buying him a birthday present or cake, i can just give him a baby instead. Lol. May Allah ease everything.

Well, that is pretty much the thing we expect this year. My husband and i, we are terrible planners. We do plan, yes. But things rarely go as planned. So, i think we secretly decided to do whatever we want whenever we find fits. Like that genting midnight stroll. I think that was lovely. Being married with a kid. Im easily delighted with spontaneous gestures. And me being malas and huge, i honestly prefer staying home in my kain sarong and read, watch tv or just lay in bed for hours.

Other than me feeling like a peguin and my weight escalated so high like burj khalifa, i cant wait to see you baby. Its 4 months plus away. Nervousssssnya. Fyi, when you know how actual labour is, it became a lot more frightening. Compared to first pregnancy because you have no idea whatsoever about how painful it is. *cries

Ps :  idk lah umi and ayah are so relaxed about buying baby's things satu hape pun belum survey, ape lagi beli. Lol. Nahh we're cool liddat.