6 Mac 2014

Assalamualaikum

Hi

Hari ni mood nak cerita pasal pengalaman bersalinkan zahra tahun lepas. Dah setahun 3 bulan. Saje lah mane tau nanti nak bacakan tuk zahra sebagai night time stories. Just to let her know the sufferings. Lol. Ini kalau cerita kat hubby mesti dia buat muka seram. Pastu ouch ouch. Cane nak teman masuk labour room sekali adik zahra nnti. Haha

Arakian bermula kisah 4 mac. Ada spotting. Oleh kerana dah 9 bulan tak period, jadi kelibat darah ni macam pelik pulak. Haha. Pastu duk doubt sendiri betul ke darah betul ke? Pastu konfem lah ada darah sikit dalam 2 3 titik. Pastu ape lagi gelabah tetek la. Alhamdulillah ada ibu, family dan kawan2 yg berpengalaman benar dlm sektor2 bersalin ni. Maksu pun every pregnancy mesti keluar darah mcm tu lah time nak bersalin. Ketuban darah org kampung panggil. Ok boleh keep calm kat rumah. Tapi tak de lah keep calm sgt pun. Sbb minggu2 last tu dh ada contraction main2. Braxton Hicks org putih panggil. Contraction main2 atau ajar2. Bes wooo. Macam period pain kejap ada kejap takde. Tapi entah lah weh.. time pregnant kan zahra adalah masa sy paling kuat. Ansari the iron woman betul time tu. Nak nangis tahan. Nak merengek tahan. Buat poker faceeee je. Sepanjang 2 hari tu contraction jadi lebih kuat. Takde main2 dh la. Tp sebab most kawan2 ckp takyah pegi spital, so tak pegi. Duk umah je. Ibu dan adik2 memang standby je. Hp je melekat kat tgn je. In case nak call emergency kalau takde org kat umah.

Sampai lah satu malam semacam je contraction tu. Tp sy ni kan suka install benda2 pelik dlm henpon. So sy install contraction counter. Sgt berguna tau! Sakit je klik. Dh habis klik lagi. Dia boleh catat masa brapa lama contraction. Dan gap from one another. Time tu pukul 12 malam. Ibu dh masuk tido. Tp ada adik laki, Habibi, kitorg duk tgk movie sama2. Dah bagitau dia, rasanya lain macam sgt. Dia dh ada anak sorg so dia tau la nak handle org nak bersalin ni. Dia suh g spital je. Sy cakap belum lagi. Sbb contraction gap belum 5 minit sekali. Gigih lah duk menahan. Pastu duk pikir ni kalau aku bersalin jap lagi ada tenaga tak. Siap sempat makan nasik tau. Haha. Pukul 1 mandi. Semayang. Pukul 3 mcm tu contraction dh 5 min sekali. So dh smpai masa gi spital. Kejut ibu dan kitorg bertiga gi spital sama2.

Nak dijadikan cerita, keta ibu mati halfway nak sampai hospital tau takk. Pukul 3 pagi. Dgn sy every 5 mins contraction. Tp mcm boleh tahan lagi. Takde contraction sampai rasa nak menjerit pun. Seb baik lah mala n ejat datang. Bawak 2 keta. Mala bawak sy n ibu ke hopital. Ejat setel keta ngn habibi. Kelakar jgk time tu. Lol. Pastu register. Mala cakap muka sy tak macam nak bersalin pun. Haha

Sampai tu pakai skirt. Misi suh tukar kain sarung. Kawan2 nak gi bersalin takyah pakai lawa2 mcm saya tau. Pakai je kain sarung. Jenuh pulak nk tukar. Xyah pakai panties. Pastu acara berdebar iaitu cek jalan. Sebab byk baca doktor cek jalan sakit. Agak berdebar la. Alhamdulillah tak sakit. Tapi keluar darah banyak.. takut gila time tu. Pastu doktor cakap dah 4 cm. Maksudnya takperlu tahan dlm wad. Boleh masuk labour room terus. Alhamdulillah malas jugak nak tunggu dlm wad kan. So, nasihat sy, kira betul2 masa contraction. Berapa lama each contraction. Pukul berapa start. Gap each contraction tu berapa lama sebelum gi hospital. Paling cantek 5min sekali tu baru pgi hospital. Kalau tak pecah ketuban la. Kalau ketuban dh pecah silalh cepat2 ke hospital. Takut baby lemas pulak.

Pastu ini cerita dalam labour room. Takuttt sangat. Tapi sebab sakit so rasa nak cepat2 lah baby keluar. Dah la sorang kan. Tak sempat nak rasa sedih pun time ni. Rilek je. Allah ada.. teman sy sepanjang proses bersalin. Sebab tu kuat. Hehe alhamdulillah. Lama jugak lah rasanya. Tp ibu cakap cepat je dh bersalin. Sebab masuk labour room pukul 4 pagi. Pukul 11.44 pagi zahra dah keluar. Sepanjang duk dlm labour room tu ramai la misi n doktor keluar masuk. Cek jalan sesuka hati atuk dia. Geram jgk time tu tapi malas nk layan sebab sakit perut. Dah lupa dah nurse ke doktor yg pecahkan ketuban sy. Huhu. Haa lepas pecah ketuban tu sakit dia ya Allah contraction bertambah berkali2 ganda. Cuba baca ayat kursi satu ayat tu tak sempat habis pun. Dorg tampal byk ayat2 dlm labour room tu. Tgh jalan contraction, sampai lupa td berenti kat mana. Baca balik, sakit lagi tgh jalan. Tp baca je. Sampai lah sy dah tak tahan sgt. Doktor dtg cek contraction sy kuat tapi jalan bukak slow. Pastu dorg bagi ubat tahan sakit. Yg buatkan sy tertido. Siap mimpi lagi tau. Haha Seriously tertido dalam labour room. Tau2 rasa macam nak meneran. Nurse pun berkejaran tengok kepala baby dh keluar. Ape lagi.. mula la sesi meneran. Alhamdulillah amalan suka membaca mmg membuahkan hasil la kat sini. Haha. Sy teringat ape sy baca, cara2 teran nurse pun puji pandai. Hehe. Kejap je zahra dah keluar. But still, time bila jarum air kat tangan tu boleh tercabut pun tak sedar. Btw, cara meneran yg sy baca, dan buat time tu adalah: dua2 tangan pegang buku lali. Jangan angkat punggung! Nanti koyak. Amek nafas dan teran ikut arahan nurse. Jgn lah lawan kata nurse tu. Dia lebih tau.

Pastu bila baby dh keluar yg mula2 sy perasan adalah rambut dia. Haha lebat gilaaa. Pastu dia merengek2 sikit. Nurse letak atas dada. Haa lagi satu. Nak masuk labour room takyah pakai bra lah. Senang baby nk meniarap. Time tu sy pakai bra so terganggu sikit. Sempat peluk zahra sambil ucap Allahuakbar ulang2. Mesti nurse pelik. Haha. Tak tau kenapa mcm kagum gila teran keluar manusia. Sungguh kagum. Pastu zahra kena bawak ngn misi utk doktor azankan. N bersih2. Dlm 45 minit sesi menjahit. Kena gunting kut. Sakit jgk la kena jahit tp doktor tu baik. Bual2 ngn sy. N bila sy cakap sakit, dia akan letak bius lagi. Alhamdulillah mudah. Pastu rindu anak dah. Haha. Nak peluk dia lagiii.

Pastu masuk lah wad bla2 stay satu malam. Adik sy ishah n putri yg temankan. Zahra pun tak kuning jadi esoknya pukul 12 tgh hr dah boleh keluar. Maka bermulalah hidup berteman tangisan dan ketawa kecik.

Alhamdulillah Allah tunai permintaan sy utk proses bersalin yg mudah walau tak berteman. Allah beri kekuatan yg sy xtau sy ada pun, utk melalui semua tu. Zahra memang hadiah paling best dlm dunia. :")
Btw, usm best sgt. Staff baik. Layanan baik. Nanti nak beranak sana lagi. Haha. Macam tak perlu je bersalin hospital swasta kalau setakat nak kena czer. Haa sebenarnya plan nk bersalin kat annisa tau. Dh nk book bilik. Jumpa doktor pakar, boleh dia cakap baby kecik n air ketuban sikit. Sebagai org yg berpelajaran tinggi, sy gi scan kat klinik lain. Klinik ang. Doktor ang ckp air ketuban ok je. Hampeh. Sorry la tak tau la nape doktor annisa ckp mcm tu tp pada pandangan sy, dia nk tipu so, sy akan induce dan memandangkan kepala baby belum masuk jalan lagi, mmg tinggi chance sy akan kena czer. Haa seb baik sy gi cek klinik lain. Takde maknanya nak czer, sy nk body lawa dan beranak ramai lagi tau doktor. Haha. Bersalin je kat klinik kerajaan ke separa kerajaan lagi bagus. Dorang akan cuba gak sedaya upaya make sure kita dpt bersalin normal. Lagipun byk lagi cara lain kan, forsep, vacum. Ape hal tah sesuka ati nk bedah2 orang. Most kawan2 ramai yg czer skrg. Syg nye body. :(

Ps: ok ttbe rasa rindu perut buncit. Haha

Love is singing to muse with you

Assalamualaikum

"Nape ko nak kawin ngan aku"

"Sebab aku dah penat mencari Ansari. Ko power ko tau tak."

Perempuan pelupa, ini awak jangan lupa.

bila semakin menjengah birthday suami, semakin tak tau nak buat kek ape, tak tau nk beli hadiah ape (oleh kerana suami tak suka surprise, sy memang straight forward je, abg im buying you perfume. Pastu dia cakap, takyah lah. Beli wallet.) Haha senang keje tapi macam nak belikan electric shaver tu. Sebab nampak gigih nau gi beli gillate. Idk why im blogging this. Anyway, esok mala and her little family is coming. You know, red warrior, weekend, football. Gomorr! In a related news, hubby is a red warrior fan too. Mehehe.

Ps: tengah layan muse pada hari jumaat. Because it takes us to 2004. :*

Gary the snail

Assalamualaikum

Hi

I feel like a terrible mother sometimes. I feel like i have failed my daughter. And that whatever i do wasnt good enough. For her. For us.

Today she touched a snail. A living freaking snail. I dont know which part exactly but im sure it was moving. Tentacles and every slimy thing was outside of the shell i suppose. We were at the porch. I was done hanging the laundry. Grabbed her yellow ball wanted to play with her. And i was taking her picture too. Hubby was at the nearest store buying eggs.

I mean, thank God i looked at what she was doing. If i were not? God knows what will happen. Ok now i feel like a bad mom again. Arghh

Truth is, i disappoint myself a lot concerning the matter of taking care of my daughter. It feels like i can do more. I should do more. Im expected to do more. And i settle for the average.

New life goal :

• Make zahra happy
• Make zahra feel safe
• Kiss zahra a lot
• Hug zahra a lot
• Feed zahra a lot
• Bath her 4 to 5 times a day
• Talk to zahra
• Respond to her with full attention when she babbles 
• Do motor skill and sensory activity with zahra a lot
• Hug her and look into her eyes when she breastfeeds
• Read to her a lot
• Pray with her and make doa with her tiny hands

I have not done enough of those. And maybe there are other things that need to be add up. Will update my life goal from time to time. Btw, zahra is asleep in the swing. After "helping" umi in the kitchen, baking vanilla butter cake for ayah. She squashed the margarine. She's a little faster now. We have to keep the shower door closed at all times because she might come out all wet from playing with the water. And keep the front door closed too. And the cherry to the cake, the stairs. Oh how she loves the stairs.

fire meet gasoline

sia

Ps: baking project is on. Im taking biskut raya orders. Anyone interested? Hehe. Oh btw, happy teachers day. As a former kindergarten teacher, i want to say, i love all of my students, especially the one who asked me what teacher means. :)

Hot daddies

Assalamualaikum

This was taken long ago. During our housewarming party with bestfriends from our matriculation college.

Notice that the 3 dads look glowing. Some say that the older a guy gets, the more kids he has, the hotter they get. Look at my husband. Extra spicy right? Lol jk.

Ps: im just looking for the right mood for grocery shopping. Argh so lazy to drive.

Pps: btw naufal, orked and zahra were born 2 months away from one another. Same year. So, future besties? Hehe

Mothers day

Assalamualaikum

First of all, happy mothers day to me. Happy mothers day to my ibu & my mak. Happy mothers day to my sister and along. Happy mothers day to every mother in the world. May Allah grant us Jannah for our sacrifices and undivided love towards our babies and families.

Second of all, thank you dear husband for the mothers day presents. Thank you for the hersheys. Thank you for the kinder buenos. Thank you for being my charlie and the chocolate factory. And most of all, thank you for the baking start up kit. Hehe. Ok. Honestly, it was a nice surprise. Even though i kindda knew that you were buying me the oven, mixer etc. (My husband is terrible at keeping secrets and making surprises. He asked me a gazilion times what i need for baking. Too obvious right?) I love them to bits. I loveeee that my oven has light inside it. Haha

Being a mother for more than a year now, taught me a lot of things. From caring a child, taking care of a child, putting up with emotion roller coaster with a child on your hip, everything from a to z, i thank Allah. For the opportunity. For zahra. Everyday is a new day and a new lesson to the both of us. And also to my husband. Being a mother and a wife to zahra and my husband, is the greatest blessing i can ever ask for. Alhamdulillah.

Honestly, you will never know how a mother feels. Until you become one. What lingers in her mind. What she feels about you. About your everyday routine. About who you're being friends with. She thinks about what people think about you. She worries endlessly. And it is true, a mother would die for her baby. Die. Suffer. Starve. Mocked. Anything. For her child.

May all of you female readers will one day experience the joy of being a mother. Amin.

Ps: i baked a simple cake earlier today. My baking skills sure have gone a little rusty. Still can practice for hubby's coming birthday. Gehehe.

Random moon beam

Assalamualaikum

Hi

Setiap dugaan Allah beri. Setiap kali Allah kata 'no Ansari. Tak boleh. Next time baru boleh' , or such. Mesti ada sebab. Dan something yg lebih baik Allah dah sediakan.

Macam plan yg cancel last minute. Supaya weekend cuti panjang sikit ni boleh spend dgn family hubby.

And my highlight of the weekend is abah dan mak amek daun pandan belakang rumah di bawah cahaya bulan sebab menantu dorang ni nak buat kuih tepung pelita sebab anak dorang tu mengidam. Haha.

Dan bergelak ketawa kat dapur gelakkan anak masing2. Too bad yaya takde. Sebab kalau yaya ada, saya ada geng makan budu. Kitorang makan nasi bertambah2 kut kalau ada budu. *flips hair

Ps: project baking is coming. Project fairy garden is very slow. Bought a few gardening tools tho. Hehe