Let This Be Nothing

assalamualaikum



nothing

i wanted to say nothing.

and then things ran sprinting to my head.

trying to reach my thumbs and be first.

to pop on the screen.

and they calmed down.

i looked them straight in the eyes.

seriously guys. you wanted to come here?

they looked at me as if they realise something.

and they looked at each other

they stepped back.

i smirked.

now let this be an empty space.



ps: i need more of these. i like the me i become when i do repulsive writing. blergh

now playing

hear you me - jimmy eat world

We crave a different kind of buzz

Assalamualaikum

We find happiness in different places. And different people. Some might find it at some kolam ikan at 3 in the morning mancing ikan. Some might find it in just a slice of pizza.

I find mine in a smile. My daughter's smile. Be it a simple mili second smile when she watches babytv, an accident smile in her sleep, a grin when she sees me come with her favourite food or toy or the beautiful laugh when my husband tickles her.

I find my happiness in watching my husband eats what i cook. When he is playing with zahra. When they both asleep in front of the tv. When he says thank you for dinner or when he sees me tired. When i wake up with both my husband and daughter still sleeping on my left and right.

I remember i used to be happy by not going to class. Class cancelled. Free wifi. More sleep. More food. Simple things at that time.

As time goes by, prorities change. But im still that person who finds her happiness in the simplest things. Like random call from father in law from his office just checking me and zahra out. Ibu coming this weekend. My sister in law cooked me nasi tomato. I count those as blessings. And those are just a few.

I have an assessment due this friday. It was originally due on Thursday. But i got an email they move it forward. So yay. Happiness. Because time is very valuable. I dont have enough of it anymore. Most of my hours are for zahra and hubby. So ok then. This is like curi a few minutes of my sleeping time. Me time before bed.

Ps: so today i found out our nearest post office is in a mall. Very tricky treasure hunt kindda search i had earlier today just to find a small post office. And it was full. Blergh.

A quick one.

Assalamualaikum

Hi

Im sorry i didnt keep my words about regular updates. Juggling dirty diapers and dirty boxers in between keyboarding is not that easy. Siapa cakap jadi suri rumah keje senang. Takde anak probably senang la sikit. Kewujudan makhluk kecil crawling itu mengakibatkan krem2 otot dan kelonggaran lutut tahu? Lagi2 kalo wujud tangga pulak di tengah rumah.

Not that im complaining. Herher. Alhamdulillah my husband is very understanding. And helpful. Regardless of the throwing around dirty laundry, he is helpful with taking zahra for bath, putting on her diapers, watching baby tv with her while i cook etc, cook sometimes, and the every night garbage stashing. Hmm well, byk berkaitan zahra la. To divert her attention from messing around kat dapur konon2nya tolong ummi. So ayah duk tgk tv dgn zahra. Sambil main coc.

Project cooking shows a lot of improvement. Hubby scoops extra nasik everyday is good la kan? Lol. Meanwhile, project fairy garden is not going anywhere. I cleaned the sekangkang kera tanah every now and then, cabut weeds tapi masih belum ada pasu2 baru. Pokok bunga kertas tu pun aunty sebelah yg siram. Malu juge kadang2. Tp tenkiu aunty. Lebiuu

Anyway, the tutu wearing ayah's little girl is officially 1. Fortunately for us, she is only 1 years old. So no party or whatsoever. Haha. Didnt even give her anything special yet. Not that she will notice right? But its there. In the nearest time perhaps.

Ahhh

It used to be like, i ran out of idea. Or i have to pee. Or i talk about the same thing over and over again. These days, there are so many reasons for me to excuse myself like, zahra is awake, hubby needs his tea, hubby is home, zahra is crying, zahra wants to play with my phone, hubby is asking me absurd questions like what i think about during pooping, and the list goes on. So, as for this time, hubby wants me to go make him so nice hot tea while we wait for penjual roti naik moto to come so we can buy thick sandwich bread because my husband is a roti titab freak. He is obsessed with the kelantan sorta toast with a half boiled egg on top of it. So ok bye.

Ps: ever wonder what we actually think during pooping? Hmm. Nice question abg. Might ponder that in my next visit to the loo.